Growing Up

Erica hit a big milestone this week and I don't know how I feel about it. She started preschool last Wednesday. All summer long she would come up to me and say in a sing-song voice, "Mom...I'm going to preschool soon. Doesn't that make you sad?"

Yes. Yes, it makes me really sad.  Getting her backpack ready the night before just felt wrong.

Watching her hang it up felt wrong.

Leaving her with Mrs. H just felt wrong. She looked at me with her big brave and scared eyes but didn't ask me to stay.

"I just left her there!" I texted Justin an hour into her day. It hit me. It isn't easier the third time around. It is probably harder with her than the other two. With Sarah, she was so bored at home and had to wait until nearly 6 to go to kindergarten anyway and she was so brave about going and didn't look back. With Henry, I knew he needed preschool to ease into the structure of kindergarten, a warm-up year. Plus he was so young for his grade.

But Erica? Sweet, reasonable, content, little shadow Erica? She didn't need to go or want to go. She is just doing what she's heard the other kids talk about. She went along with it. I went along with it.

Deep breaths. It's only 5 hours a week. 5 hours she'd spend most likely spend watching TV or messing up the family room anyway. Deep breaths. And she has really enjoyed her first two days.

Speaking of growing up too fast, I hit the big 3-5 yesterday. I also don't know how I feel about it. It makes sense since I have a near 10-year-old and I've done a lot of stuff but I thought I'd have more figured out at this age. I still don't know how to curl my hair in a way that I like.

But I do know how to make a cake. I made a white cake with Italian Buttercream. It took me awhile to find a recipe that didn't call for an entire box of butter but this Australian lady came through.

It was pretty tasty and I had it for lunch today. And lunch dessert.

 Justin took the day off work and did all the chores I don't like to do plus made me breakfast. Then he took me shopping to buy some stuff. I found a jacket and pants at Eddie Bauer but decided to order them online in the color I wanted. And then I found some great finds at DI like this hemisphere cake pan and a juicer. $3!

Plus this new piano lamp!

 These bouquets are from (l-r) Sarah, Erica, and Justin.

 This crown is from Henry.

 Here's my lamp assembled and lit up. We are a legit piano house now.

I'm working on a list of 35 things I'm going to do while I'm 35. Some things are just going to happen, like be a mom for 10 years. Other things are goals like make a quilt for myself for once or learn to play a TBD song on the piano, or actually do a photography project I've been thinking about. Maybe I'll share my list when I'm done.

And finally, my favorite part about my birthday:

He would randomly jump and raise his arms and shout "Happy to you!" all day long.