For some reason our kids didn't go back until January 4 and we can all tell you that was too late. They were all ready and no complaints come Wednesday morning. Tuesday I took Erica to the dentist to get a cavity filled and our dentist asked how our new year was looking. "Pretty good," I said. "We don't have a whole lot going on." You know how when you say something you think is true and there's a little voice in the back of your head that says, "that's not right"? I got that feeling. The last time I got that feeling was when I tucked Sarah into bed and told her that I would take her to the store the next day. "No you won't" said the little voice. I gave birth to Erica that night.
Anyway, I'll get to the rest of that in a minute.
James was wondering if you can count by other numbers, not just 2s. Why yes. So we went over counting by 4s. I wrote them down as he figured them out. Then we wanted to count by 12s. It took him a second but he could tell me what number came next. I only wrote down what he said. We were laughing every time he came up with the next number because neither of us could believe he could do it. He told me his classmates call him the smartest kid in the class. "Well just Soren calls me that because I can answer any math question he asks me." He's almost done with his 1st grade workbook so I'm going to get him a second grade one and see how far he can go.
Sarah played with the school district's honors orchestra. 8th graders from all over the district practiced for just two rehearsals before the concert on the 18th. They did such a great job!
Henry is playing basketball in the city league this year. Last year he didn't play so he's a little rusty. I already see a lot of improvement since his last game. He has a lot of fun so that's all that matters.
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So that's what I imagined my January to look like and only all of that. Well that and Fancy Dinner Night.
Dinnertime at the Dye house has not always been a joyful affair. On any given night we were getting after the kids for kicking under the table, complaining about the food, lying down on their chair, wandering away, not eating, being gross, yelling, bad conversation habits (ie "I was not talking to you!") and just overall unpleasantness.
It's a good thing we practiced waiting because even though we had reservations we had to wait to be seated and then wait a long time for our food.
James drank 3 cups of soda and two bites of pasta and then declared he had a stomachache.
Erica did much better and helped herself to Henry's fries.
No one loves a burger like Henry.
Sarah chose the prime rib sandwich and regrets nothing.
So I pulled out some candles and candlesticks, taped each of the kids' names on them and told them the rules: You light your candle after the prayer. As soon has you have bad table manners (we went over all the dos and don'ts) Dad or I will blow out your candle. Once you're candle has burned itself out, we'll take you out to dinner. We had no idea how long it was going to take but they were motivated and dinners instantly improved. They all had their candle blown out at least once. The biggest improvement was just overall eating while they should be eating. James and Erica, who are usually slow or just push food around, actually ate mindfully and thoroughly so they could stretch out their time. It immediately put an end to yelling and the other most heinous behaviors. It took about 6 weeks. To celebrate and to fulfill our end of the bargain, we took them to Magleby's in Springville. The evening before I made my kids all stand closely in our entryway and practice not shoving each other and then sitting at the set table for 10 minutes while dinner finished cooking. We were ready!
Just happy to be eating somewhere without a playground inside.
James's stomachache miraculously disappeared when dessert arrived. He ate half of that slice of chocolate cake.
Overall I think the incentive worked. We'll see if they keep up their good manners.
It was at this time that we broke big news to the kids. Before we could say exactly what it was they said "Are we moving?" (Sadly) "Are you pregnant?" (Happy). Nope and wow I really nope not. The real news was that Justin was called to be the bishop of our ward and was being sustained the next day. The reactions to that news was also mixed. Henry and Sarah were mostly excited and kind of didn't believe it. "Dad??" and later "I can't believe Dad is going to be the bishop." Erica was mostly sad because she doesn't like change and was worried Justin would be gone all the time. James was like, "Really?" and then over it.
Justin and I had known since January 8th. That's the perfect amount of time. Long enough to get over the initial shock but not too long that he procrastinated getting counselors or put it on the back burner.
I think Justin knew exactly why were going to meet with the Stake Presidency that fateful morning. I was in denial and hoped it was just a check-in or maybe a different stake calling. Justin had only been a high councilor for a year and our bishop still had 4 more months before his five years were up. The stake president called Justin into his office and the counselors hung out with me in foyer. It felt like a gameshow when the contestant isn't to hear their partner's answers. Then I was invited in and President Jones got right down to business.
He started off by saying we were all there because of me and how impressed he was with me and then all the stake presidency all admitted that they were all where they were because of their wives. It's a high compliment but not one I think I fully deserve. I met with President Jones privately in December, ostensibly to see how I was doing, as a wife of a high councilor, but he revealed this day that that interview was to get a better idea how our home life and marriage was going and just a better feel of who we were and wives are the best indicator. And man was I honest that day. It had been a long time since I've met with my bishop or stake president for no other reason to see how I'm doing. Instead of assuring him he can take me off their worry list which is my usual angle, I decided it wouldn't burden him one bit to tell him all the things: that I hate how busy we are, and anything that pulls anyone of us out of the house better be dang important. How I want my kids to see me serve in the church but not resent the church for taking me away. I told him I didn't understand why Justin and I both had such time consuming callings and that at times I resented it. But to ask to be released is like saying "this is my max, all I'm willing to give" and I'm not willing to say that. I can give more, I can give way more and people give more without complaining. And he didn't seem burdened or think less of me. Nor did he reassure me or give me any sort of indication he would remedy the situation. I didn't expect him to but it felt nice to just lay it all out there. So there is some comfort that President Jones is basing his esteem of me on this interview where I did not paint a rosy picture of myself.
Anyway, back to THE MEETING. It's weird when you know what they're going to say and it makes perfect sense when they say it. I guess my denial wasn't too deep. He asked me if I could support Justin and I said yes. Inside my head I'm saying, That's all I ever want to do. I think it's the only thing I'm actually good at. Then they asked Justin if he would accept the call and he said "Are you sure?" but President Jones only heard "sure" and that amused him. I only heard "sure" as well. So technically Justin didn't say yes.😉 I could tell Justin felt overwhelmed and shocked even though he knew why were were there all along. But I know now his call to the high council has prepared him for this calling and I know my year in the relief society presidency has helped me get to know the sisters in the ward. It was a rough year but I see the wisdom in it now.
For the next two weeks I asked Justin at least once a day, "How are you doing? Are you okay? Anything you want to talk about?"
It didn't seem real even as he took his seat on the stand. A little more real when he was set apart. He's already conducted his first meeting, led his first 5th Sunday discussion, had the priests and oldest girls over for a bake off, and answered emails and texts into the night. His first item of ward business was to release me from my calling in the relief society presidency. I thought I'd feel more relieved than I do. I guess when I don't do ministering interviews or just go to the next activity instead of being in charge or don't go to 6 other meetings I usually have in a month then it will really sink in.
Right off I have been blown away by the love and support of our ward members, especially the empathetic hugs by former bishops' wives (there are a lot of them). I think we can do this.
And during all this our fridge died and we ate out of coolers in the backyard for four days. The fridge is good as new and it was just an inconvenience, really.
But it made for a really weird month.
